Mummy, it's my wedding too!

Ella, my five year old, led a Q&A session with J and me in the car last week. Subject: our upcoming wedding. Objective: to glean as much detail as possible. Result: she realised she won't be staying with us on our wedding night.

"But why do I have to stay with Daddy after? Why can't I stay with you?" (Tense pause whilst my stomach knots and I prepare myself to deal with a tantrum).

"Well, it's traditional for the people getting married, the husband and wife, to be alone on their wedding night, darling."

"But that's not fair, mummy. It's my wedding too!"

"Er, no sweetie it isn't actually your wedding. It's mummy and J's wedding."

Before she can protest, I go into Automatic Child Placating Mode, "You know, you are a very important part of the wedding, my darling, and you have a very important job - which is to be a Flower Girl, and to look very pretty, and to help make our day special.

That includes being a good girl and staying at Daddy's that evening. And anyway, you will get your turn when you're older. You can have your own wedding."

"But it isn't fair 'cos I might not want to get married when I'm older." Hmm. She has a point.

"Ella, look at that red umbrella that lady is carrying. Look! Isn't it bright!" Phew. Thank god for distraction tactics.

Yesterday, J and I went to the Registry Office to give our notice of marriage. We discussed our choice of vows and whether we wanted a reading. The Registrar suggested we could bring a song on a CD to round off the ceremony.

"What sort of thing can we have?" I asked.

"Practically anything. You know, someone recently signed the register to the tune of Bob the Builder."

"As in the kid's TV theme tune?!"

"Exactly."

It turns out that it was the choice of the bride's three year old son. And now I'm sure that there must be a mummy out there who has sacrificed her wedding night – and all it traditionally entails – to make their child feel included.

I thank the lady with the red umbrella for my lucky escape.

This post was written by Anna Colette, a Thames Valley Mum of one who is getting married in March. You can read more at her blog, Part Mummy, Part Me.

Photo credit: Smooth Dude

Comments

[Susanna]

Thanks for sharing, and good luck with the wedding!