Pre-marital tension

Lately I've been experiencing a strange form of PMT - Pre Marital Tension.

I thought I'd been so clever - after all I'd done everything I could to avoid the syndrome. No cars, no flowers, no seating plans...all wedding preparations done and dusted in a matter of weeks not months. Surely, I would be a very calm, relaxed bride.

But I hadn't accounted for the politics.

People calling me up, upset because they weren't invited to the wedding party. They remain uninvited. A friend asking me if she and her partner could bring other friends I don't know so they have someone to talk to at the wedding (it's a wedding! Go mingle!).

I've had someone that has long since faded into the background - due to distinct lack of interest on both sides - calling me up for the first time in years 'just to say hello' when I know through mutual friends they're angling for an invitation. Their message remains on my answering machine - unanswered.

I've fallen out with someone over wedding cake (don't ask). A was-a-good-friend-now-more-of-an-aquaintance texted me yesterday to say she isn't coming because her ex-husband will be at the party (although he doesn't seem to have a problem about bumping into her, and they still text each other occassionally) and her current beau is uncomfortable about it. She's not prepared to come without her partner.

My childcare plans fell through recently due certain people getting the hump - meaning I can't get too tipsy at my wedding party because Els and Sulis (my niece) will be staying until the party ends at midnight and coming back to my house with J and me. We had hoped to have a bit of a grown-up 'after party' so that's not possible now.

Frankly, I can't face small children with a hangover the next day (that's me with the hangover, not the small children obviously), so now I should really be watching my champagne intake at our party or -more likely- having a good time and regretting it bitterly the next morning. Though there's always that stalwart babysitter, CBeebies, to fall back on.

On top of the realisation that people are a lot weirder than I first thought, and a good deal more selfish, J and I have been niggling at one another this week. A lot.

According to my good friend Adie, she and her hubby were the same and her gay friends also recently experienced a prolonged bout of PMT with a lot of huffiness and bad temper prior to their civil partnership.

It seems no one can escape - straight or gay, big wedding or small.

All is well now though. The day before my wedding I've finished my work, been waxed within an inch of my life and had a rare but much needed manicure.

Anna (not me, a friend with the same name) called yesterday to offer her fairy lights - along with herself and her husband to string them along the beams in the hall before the party and run anylast-minute errands for us while we're decking out the venue.

Helen is meeting me at the hall on Saturday to help make helium balloon clusters and prettify the hall. Several friends, and El's granny (known as 'Nonna' because she is too young-looking and gorgeous to be 'granny') have offered to take El home after the party to give me a chance to let my hair down and recuperate the next morning (all declined as I'll have Sulis anyway and I know that two kids can occupy themselves in the morning without adult assistance better than one!).

My friend and colleague popped over yesterday to give me a wonderful and unexpected present - a much-longed-for bread maker. This is despite the fact that we've asked people to bring a 'pot luck' dish for the buffet to save us catering costs - and not to worry about getting us a pressie.

Sarada has insisted on making a wedding cake - although I was completely unfussed about having one at first, I'm now really grateful that we will have a cake (btw she's not the person I fell out with over cake!).

Oh, and my mother has kindly given me some spending money for our honeymoon. Adie has let me know several times that she'll do anything to help, and to call me on the day if I need anything at all. Then there's Anton who paid for half of my dress as a present, Juliet who is helping me with my hair and make-up...

I'm chuffed to bits with people's kindness and help. It's eased my PMT and I'm looking forward to the wedding tomorrow, and the party on Saturday, with eagerness and a slight touch of butterflies.

It's gonna be great.

This post was written by Anna Colette, a Thames Valley Mum of one. You can read more at her blog, Part Mummy, Part Me.

Photo credit: Angela Alder Flowers

Comments

[Susanna (A Modern Mother)]

Hang in there Anna, it'll be the best day of your life.

[Expat mum]

What - people who you didn't like well enough to invite to your wedding are calling you up to complain? Wouldn't normal people say nothing? Have a great, great day.

[aruba beach weddings]

i justed got married and it was the best day of my life.