Thames Valley Mums Blog

Passing on Parenting Tips

This week, one of my bestest pals in the whole wide world announced that he is going to become a Daddy later this year. After a few hours of squealing with excitement, giggling to myself (my colleagues were giving me funny looks by this point) and generally smiling from ear-to-ear, I stopped to think about what advice I could offer a couple just starting out on their pregnancy and parenting adventure.

I could tell them to take advantage of any free baby bits and pieces they may be offered over the next few months. I could recommend they fill their freezer with lots of home-cooked meals (sans onion) to help them survive the first few days. I could scare them with humiliating stories of mummy-dom. I have lots of tips and advice on Mummy, Baby and Daddy products to buy (or not). But I don't want to overwhelm them with information at such an early stage in proceedings.

My 10 most surreal mummy moments

1. Opening my empty purse to pay for something in a shop and suddenly remembering all my cards and money have been pushed down the side of the sofa

2. Taking 15 minutes to get the children and myself ready so we can walk 40 metres to the postbox to post a letter

3. Having to read two books to two children at the same time

4. Stripping off a baby who's had a huge nappy explosion while wearing my most glamorous outfit at a friend's wedding

5. Getting my course notes out at an evening class to discover I can hardly read them because they've been covered in red marker pen

Middle child syndrome - does it exist?

By having three children I've created - argh! - a middle child. I've heard it's not very nice being in the middle. My sister is a middle child and I asked her recently what it's like. Her reply began with "I'm not bitter, but..." In summary she said that the eldest one gets attention and the youngest one gets attention and the middle one doesn't because they're... in the middle.

Surely if you have three children then there's always going to be one left out? A lot of the time this could be the youngest because they're not old enough to do the things the other siblings do. But maybe this is compensated by the youngest getting more attention because they're the 'baby' of the family. Maybe an odd number of children is never a good idea? Maybe you should always aim for an even number? Maybe we should have a fourth? (little chance of that I think, husband has been mentioning the 's' word).

Do you have any help?

I was asked this question twice last week. Firstly by my GP at my ante-natal check-up and secondly by the staff at pre-school as I waddled in with an excitable toddler to pick up vomiting Podge.

"Er, no," was my reply. Because I don't. Lots of us don't. I'm not pleading hardship or asking for sympathy, it's something I'm used to and don't think about very much. By 'help' I'm assuming people mean a set of retired, helpful parents living round the corner who regularly do some babysitting, DIY and housework for you. I'm envious of anyone who has this arrangement as it would obviously make life a lot easier.

Lots of us don't have help like this because we've had to move around the country for jobs, our family have had to move or sadly our family aren't around any more. My Mum moves about quite a bit. She recently returned to the UK after living abroad and is an hour's drive from us. My Dad and in-laws are 3-4 hours drive away. My sister is an hour and a half away and my brother currently about 45 minutes away. He rarely stays in one place for long because he's in the armed forces.

Misconceptions I had about parenthood

Five years ago I didn't have children and I didn't know any children. None of my close family and friends had reached that stage either. I really wanted children but that was probably because I thought the following:

- Babies don't walk until they're two
- Babies don't talk until they're four
- Newborn babies sleep most of the time
- Under-fives are incapable of being naughty
- Breastfeeding is easy
- Parents who complain about lack of sleep and toddler tantrums are making a fuss about nothing
- Under-fives do what they're told
- Fussy eaters and bad sleepers are due to poor parenting
- Pregnant women moan a lot (about nothing)
- Parents who complain about lack of time don't manage their time properly
- Birth is straightforward if you follow all the advice
- Mums who complain about baby weight should just exercise
- Parents who complain parenting is stressful have no idea, nothing is more stressful than an important deadline right?

I've found motherhood a bit of a learning curve.

This post was written by Whistlejacket, a mum to two boys in her 30s that lives in Berkshire. She's expecting a third baby at the end of 2009. This has been carefully planned so she can be disorganised at Christmas and have a good excuse. You can read more at her blog, Babyrambles.

Photo credit: Microsoft

Mooning, she needs a rocket

Like all parents, I love my child with every fibre of my being. From the moment I first held her, and I knew it was me and her against the world, I knew I loved her. When she is ill or hurting I would do anything to take her pain away. I cry for her when she is upset and I rejoice with her when she is happy. She can melt my heart with a hug and brighten my day with a smile.

She gets more independent day by day but I love the fact she still loves to snuggle up with me for a cuddle. All this I expected, when I was pregnant with her, I knew that her love for me and mine for her would be unconditional and unending. What I did not expect is how she can drive me absolutely, teeth clenchingly, hair rippingly mental!

Autumn Leaf

Goodness, I have been stirring the pity pot recently. For a good few days after Els returned into the loving arms of her mother (that’s me btw), I’ve been cussing my fate.

I do occasionally have a good old wallow in the fact that poor lil ole me has to give up my only daughter for half the week (sometimes more) like a modern day Demeter.

Els isn’t at all like Persephone of course. She’s hardly been abducted to the underworld. When she’s not with me, she’s in the loving arms of her father. So there’s no real reason to grieve is there?

I know this. I really, really do. But lately I couldn’t help but bemoan my situation. Poor old Part-time Mummy. Denied the joys of full-time motherhood.

FREE parenting classes -- what more could a wife of a Scotsman want?!

You can tell I've been married to a Scotsman for too long -- I get excited about anything that's free.

So when I found a memo from the school crumpled up on the bottom of Alexandra's book bag advertising a parenting class aimed at parents with reception children dealing with transition, I signed up.

And I'm VERY glad I did.

It had been ages since I'd read anything on emotional support for five-year-olds. When my first was born, I devoured every available book. After having three children in quick succession, the parenting books are replaced by Dr. Seuss (the former are in a box in the attic gathering dust.)